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The Worst DLC Of All Time

What ranks at the worst DLC on Microsoft's service?

Shivering Isles. Lost & The Damned. Rock Band 2. Left 4 Dead.

There has been plenty of awesome DLC on Marketplace that has helped extend the life of your favourite games thanks to new game modes, weapons, cars or whatever else. Good DLC will rally the Xbox Live community back to the old favourites and provide the perfect excuse to blow the dust off a long neglected game.

Even so, there's been plenty of tat too. Some publishers have seen it as a cheeky excuse to try and squeeze a few extra coins out of eager gamers while other DLC has just been... bad. Plain bad. So which ranks as the worst?

5. Vampire Rain Mission Pack
Description: Extra single player missions
Price: Free
Already On Disc?: No

Okay, so it's free. Woohoo. So is disease. And disappointment. And dying. And we don't see anyone particularly clamouring for any of those things.

It almost feels rude picking on free DLC for a game that received only token support on its release, once Microsoft realised it had a turkey on its hands. Yet in terms of sheer enjoyment, this has to be the worst DLC on Marketplace. Bar none. It's free but it's also a case of you getting what you paid for.

4. Street Fighter Costume Packs
Description: Alternative costumes for every character
Price:
Already On Disc?: Yes

It's already on the disc. It's just that you can't access it without being held to virtual ransom because Capcom has slapped a crazy pricetag on its alternative-costumed bum.

Even worse, you can't just buy the ones you want. Want Cammy's alternative costume? That's nice but you can't buy it. Not without buying Rose, Sakura, C.Viper and Chun-Li's wardrobe too. It's like being forced to buy a Kellogg's variety pack just because you really want to eat some Ricicles. And then finding out that variety packs now cost a fiver.

3. Godfather 'Don Collection'
Description: Cars and money unlocked
Price: 800 Microsoft Points
Already On Disc?: Yes

Hopefully everyone's paying attention, you're using your real money to buy virtual money to buy worthless virtual money.
It's the sort of stuff that sci-fi authors would have written about in the Seventies, before being dragged away for more medication.

And yet, here it is. You use your real money to buy Microsoft Points. You use your Microsoft Points to buy in-game money for Godfather. You use that to... well, we don't know. It's up to you. If you're that desperate for in-game money that you're prepared to throw real money at it, who knows what you want to do with it?

2. Stranglehold Map Pack
Description: Multiplayer maps and new achievements
Price: 1200 Microsoft Points
Already On Disc?: No

This fails on just about every level possible. Stranglehold's multiplayer is one of the worst you'll ever play, thanks to the awesome combination of horrendous lag, impossible aiming, cheap kills, zero players and moon physics. When multiplayer is this bad, the challenge is figuring out how to bring players back.

You'd think the answer would be something like, I don't know, fixing the multiplayer. And not charging 1200 Microsoft Points for a map pack that absolutely no-one is going to buy, meaning all you end up with are extra levels where you can run around by yourself, shoot the scenery and feel slightly depressed.

1. Horse Armor
Description: Quite literally, armour for your horse
Price: 200 MS Points
Already On Disc?: No

"Tamriel is a dangerous place," reads the description. "Protect your horse from danger with this beautiful handcrafted armor."

Thus, the life of the most notorious bit of DLC on Marketplace began. For 200 Microsoft Points, you can buy a metal coat of armour for your horse. It doesn't actually protect your horse. It doesn't serve any purpose. It just hangs limply from your horse, like a sad metallic shawl. The worst DLC of all time, bar none, and will probably remain so until the day Xbox 360 dies.

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