As that friend of the small businessman Tony Montana reminds us, once you get the money, you get the power, and once you get the power, you can get the women - or, as the case may be in a more enlightened age, men. While similarly acquisitive, Grand Theft Auto 5 is a little bit more laidback, a touch less calculating about what players should do with their earnings than old Scarface.
Here's a subtle variation on the theme, for instance: once you get the money, you can buy a P-996 Lazer fighter jet. And once you have a P-996 Lazer fighter jet, you can strafe a beachside gym, kamikaze-dive a sailboat and run away screaming. The world is your oyster, so by all means launch heat-seeking missiles at it.
The only question, of course, is how you'll get the money (and where you'll find the jet, of course - here's how to get the best vehicles in GTA 5). Allow the venture capitalists of OXM to assist by way of copious subheadings. If you've got a tip to add, or a bone to pick with one of ours, by all means toss us a comment.
1. Be a common thief
Start small by holding up shop clerks and mugging people who've just withdrawn cash from ATMs. Once you've acquired a bit of heavy ordinance, keep an eye out for Gruppe 6 security trucks, which carry $5000 in ready cash - shoot the driver, run the vehicle off-road, then apply a bit of the old C4 to the rear doors. It's worth playing the Good Guy, up to a point - follow police to the site of a robbery and you might be able to nick off with the stolen goods, and if you see somebody stealing a guy's push-bike, you might want to get involved.
2. Walk the dog
Franklin's dog Chop is everything a GTA protagonist should be - horny, psychopathic, ultra-avaricious yet somehow lovable. When he isn't humping other dogs and running down punks for you, he'll sniff out hidden treasure and collectables such as spaceship parts, via the iFruit app for iPhone. You might want to leave him behind when mugging people, however, as he'll maul anybody you point your gun at.
3. Do the same mission several times with different main characters
It's possible to repeat certain side missions with a different character for another payout (and different dialogue). This also applies to some item drops, such as the $12000 you'll find in a treasure box near the crashed plane at the bottom of the ocean, up in the north-west part of the map. This particular prize respawns when you switch characters and wait for a few seconds, as discovered by Gosunoob. Update - Alas, the glitch has now been patched out, according to reports.
4. Get on the property ladder
Each property you earn tops up your bank balance at weekly intervals automatically, so make this side of the game a top priority if you don't want to waste time and thought on the act of cranking out moolah (though do bear in mind that it'll take a while to recoup your investment - thanks, BlindHorse). The cheapest property we've discovered is The Hen House, a seedy dive which goes for $80,000 and is good for $800 in revenue. At the top end, there's The Los Santos Golf Club, which costs a ludicrous $150,000,000 and has an income of $264,500.