The Xbox One isn't a videogame console - it's a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus, which will call on the "infinite" power of cloud computing to defend the Earth against demon space rocks. Yep, Microsoft's on the PR offensive again.
Speaking at an Xbox 101 presentation at E3 this week, engineering manager Jeff Henshaw has touted the new hardware's "limitless" potential. When last we spoke to Henshaw, he told us that Xbox One was roundabouts eight times as powerful as Xbox 360, but added that cloud computing support enhances the console's built-in capabilities "by the equivalent of three Xbox Ones".
Nowadays, Xbox One is 10 times as powerful as Xbox 360, and can perform around seven and a half times as much computational activity with the cloud's aid. Looking forward to your next conference, Jeff. Probably, the console will run on fragments of the True Cross and be capable of reprogramming the sun by then.
Henshaw showed off a hardware demo created in partnership with NASA, which tracks the orbital velocity of asteroids. Xbox One can manage 40,000 asteroids at once, he explained, but with the aid of servers, it's capable of tracking 330,000. Stand down, Armageddon-era Bruce Willis - Microsoft's got this covered.
"Microsoft has hundreds of thousands of servers and dozens of data centers geographically distributed all around the planet, and Xbox One has the ability to instantly tap in to that limitless computational horsepower," the engineering boss claimed, via GamesIndustry.biz.
The gains will be piped to your living room continuously, without any loading bars. "We have about 500,000 updates per second coming from our global computing cloud down to this Xbox One so it can all be managed completely seamlessly. The beautiful thing that's happening here is we are seamlessly blending Xbox One's incredible processing power with the limitless processing power of the cloud."
Microsoft won't use all this unfettered horsepower to snoop on extra-terrestrial boulders, of course. It'll empower developers to make bigger, better game worlds.
"Game developers are building games that have bigger levels than ever before," Henshaw gushed. "In fact, game developers can now create persistent worlds that encompass tens or hundreds of thousands of players without taxing any individual console, and those worlds that they built can be lusher and more vibrant than ever before because the cloud persists and is always there, always computing.
"Those worlds can live on in between game sessions. If one player drops out, that world will continue on and can experience the effects of time, like wear from weather damage, so that when a player comes back into the universe it's actually a slightly evolved place in the same way that our real world evolves a little bit from the time we go to sleep to the time we wake up.
"Game developers have given us incredibly positive feedback on the crazy different ways that they can use this incredible new cloud power resource."
In fairness to the man, it's his job to upsell things, and the last few paragraphs sound rather promising. Read more about the new console via our definitive Xbox One guide.