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Terraria Diary Day #1: All is Lost

Aoife sets out into a cuboid wilderness

Squares! Squares everywhere! My kingdom for a circle; a friend without sharp edges. I had once thought of corners as snug, comforting things - how they mock me now. Before my eyes not a sea of right angles, but an expanse of wrong ones.

I came to this newly generated, two-dimensional land in search of adventure - of gold and glory - and after one day all I have to show for my considerable troubles is a gaping hole in the ground and an inventory full of perfectly square dirt blocks. Confound it all, I had thought that than an axe, a pick and a blunt sword would be all I'd need in my knapsack, but it turns out I am severely under-equipped and under-prepared.

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My first mistake - I assumed I'd be the only explorer in this strange, virgin territory. But, shortly after my arrival I came across a rather odd chap, answering only to 'Guide'. Thinking he could have some advice to impart, I approached him, but he appears to be a few pixels short of a picnic. I tried again and again to tease some sensible dialogue out of him but I fear being lost in the wilderness for so long has addled his mind, the poor sod; he answered only with useless advice or ominous warnings whilst pacing back and forth, back and forth, like a man possessed.

I had thought him too far gone to be of any assistance, but shortly after I had returned to digging (because what else was there to do?) we were beset on all sides by what I can only assume were the sentient snot globs of some gigantic and hopefully long departed creature. Doing what any adventurer would, I took sword in hand and smited/smote the detestable, odious things whilst brave Guide provided a distraction. By, well, pacing back and forth. Not the most devious strategy, I'll admit, but after that display I resolved to keep him close by.

After digging for what felt like an age and seeing not a speck of gold, I gave up. Standing on a plateau, seeing nothing of much interest in either direction and fearing it was too early to venture far, resource-gathering impulses took over and I started swinging my copper axe at the nearest tree. After ten minutes of mindless chopping, I flattened a small forest and gained a surplus of perfectly square wooden blocks to go alongside the dirt ones. Not exactly the kind of priceless bounty I had in mind when I began all this.

At this point, dear diary, I confess with some shame that I succumbed to despair. I gnashed my teeth, tore at my brow and cursed whatever strange and terrible powers that had brought me here. But I knew there was more to this world. There had to be, surely. After the lengthy pause to consider my predicament, I looked up and realised that the skies were beginning to darken - night approached. Amongst dear Guide's ramblings, he muttered muted warning about monsters coming out at night, and whilst I wasn't sure whether these monsters were the metaphorical kind or not, I didn't wish to take chances and sprung into action.

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I decided to use the stockpile of harvested dirt blocks I had previously accumulated to construct rudimentary shelter, but due to my relative inexperience with two dimensions, it took me some time to work out how to actually do this. I slapped together two walls and a ceiling, and after much deliberation, managed to put the back walls together. It wasn't much to look at, but it would keep us safe. Using the wooden squares and some cunning, I constructed a workbench inside the mound and from that crafted a solid door to keep out from any night-time terrors.

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