Video: we've fixed Assassin's Creed 3's civilian dialogue

"It must be meat loaf night and he must really like meat loaf!"

I don't think there can be any argument that Assassin's Creed 3 is the best video game in the world, and Connor Nahasapeemapetilon is the most likeable protagonist in any medium. If you asked us to pick fault, we'd hesitate at the potential blasphemy, before suggesting: maybe the things that people say as you run past them get a bit repetitive, after a while? Maybe having three urchins running up to you and going "Whurp! Whuuurrrrp!" might begin to get on your knockers?

Well, we've fixed it! Here you go, Ubisoft - some more NPC barks you can slam in your database. This is a service we'll provide for free, so long as you work in a scene where Edward Kenway is on a computer looking at this website and saying "Arr, 'tis right authoritative." Deal? Deal. Let's get on with this.