Game developers, you may be surprised to learn, are generally quite healthy, well-rounded and reassuringly normal people. They have mortgages. They have wives and husbands and children and pets. They have newspaper subscriptions and favourite foods and amusing stories about that time some producer showed up at the office with his trousers on backwards.
How, then, how do they muster the inward grotesquery to dream up videogame monsters as horrendous as those listed below? Short of an industry-wide case of multiple personality disorder, we're at a loss for explanations. By all means pose a few, and alert us to any terrifying specimens of videogame over-design we've missed.
1. Double - Skullgirls
You know how trailers are generally montages of a videogame's best bits? Well, Double is basically a walking, talking trailer. Like Edge Master from Namco's Soul series, she/it is mistress of all the fighting styles in the game, but unlike Edge Master, she/it is capable of switching between them mid-battle, care of an unsightly case of demonic possession. Watch the below. It's like playing footage of an octopus losing a fight with a food blender backwards.
2. J'avo - Resident Evil 6
It's all about choice with Resident Evil 6's standby munster, care of a flesh-mutating virus that's beset by chronic indecision. Shoot a J'avo in the arm, and that arm will reconstitute itself as a vengeful barbed tentacle. Blast its lower regions, and the on-board parasite might decide that legs are so last century, sprout a set of raggedy bat wings and take to the air. Or it might elect to become an Uzi-wielding spider. Or a mottled green chrysalis that shatters after a randomly determined period to reveal a crow made out of ribcages.