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34 Reviews

Family Guy: Back To The Multiverse

Review it yourself with our exclusive truth-finding questionnaire

Family Guy is a special experience, and one that no humble reviewer can truly hope to encapsulate, with tools as clumsy as "opinions" and a single, inflexible number. To that end, we've produced a foolproof questionnaire that will spit out a personalised score, based on your unique tastes. Simply check the boxes next to the statements you agree with, and your one-size-fits-you score will appear at the bottom, as if by journalism.

  1. The Family Guy TV series is not in decline. In fact, it just keeps getting funnier. I don't know where Seth McFarlane gets his ideas.
It's a car that when you stand on it the screen wobbles! Get it? Drugs, probably!
  1. When I fire a gun, I don't want any physical sense of recoil, or any illusion of impact. It should, instead, feel like someone else is throwing marbles at a lamp-post, until the lamp-post disappears.
  2. Insults relating to sexuality are so innately funny that they don't require context or purpose. Simply calling another person gay qualifies as a top-tier joke. For example, if a character approaches me with a gun, saying "looks like we've got a couple of queers", or "look how gay you are", that's fantastic. Gay people! Can you even imagine?
  3. My idea of a fun side mission is to collect somewhere between five and fifteen identical items that have been concealed throughout the level, with no meaningful reward.
  4. If I had a narrative device like the Multiverse, that made literally anything possible, I would say "I want a pirate level because pirates are funny. Shut up let's do a pirate level," before patting myself on the tummy and screaming "Hooooo, boy! I do like pirates."
  5. Difficulty should not come from a cunning enemy AI. It should come from a greasy camera and large numbers of enemies. Shooting a dozen FBI agents as their kindergarten AI leads them towards me in a suicidal conga line sounds like tense, tactical fun.
  6. I love co-op in all its forms, even if that does mean two people playing the same terrible game. I mean, co-op, right? That's always a good thing, isn't it?
Imagine a nerd frat populated by awkward Jewish men. We're inventing new genres of comedy, here
  1. Every game must have deathmatch, capture the flag and Horde Mode. There's no excuse not to have these modes in this days and age. Why doesn't FIFA 13 have a Horde Mode? It's lazy, is what it is.
  2. The online modes must be local split-screen only, though, because I am not allowed the internet after I posted a stream of so-called "hate speech" about gays, sluts, disabled people, Jews, and for some reason, the Amish. What's their problem? I was only joking. Some people have no sense of humour. Why am I the only person who's not an uptight hypersensitive loser?
  3. I am a frothing imbecile who deserves nothing of value in my life.

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