Dislike dying in multiplayer shooters? Put off by the idea of developing competence? Not a problem - join a team. You'll have more people to stand behind when the bullets are flying, and what's more, some of those people may be feeble-minded enough to heal you when you shoot your own feet with a grenade launcher. It's just like friendship in reality!
Thanks to the cushioning presence of players whose thumbs are on speaking terms with their brains, the acquisition of skill need never be a priority. Providing, that is, you stay away from certain special Halo 4 playlists. Alas, my fellow oafs - 343 is wise to our coward's tricks and has taken appropriate steps. Next Monday, the developer will add FFA Throwback to the Halo 4 playlists. Its contents: lone-wolf-only variants of Oddball and King of the Hill.
"If you've been dominating these modes with teammates, see how the game changes when it's every Spartan for themselves," gloats Jessica Shea, high mistress of Halo Waypoint. Be merciful, Jessica. I've only just worked out which end of a plasma sword does what.
The FFA Throwback maps are Haven, Adrift, Complex, Solace and Abandon, and you can bring up to seven other players to the party. You'll need 100 points to win on Oddball and 50 to win on King of the Hill, with a 12 minute time limit. Who's man or woman enough to get involved?