As you may be aware, Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 will hit shelves at 12.01 am tomorrow morning. There are but two courses of action you can take in response. Firstly, you can overarm throw your monitor at the window in terror and rage, prostrate yourself beneath your desk and attempt to wait it out with the help of a jumbo-sized bag of Malteasers.
Secondly, you can embrace the fact that the Xbox-360-owning internet will talk about literally nothing else for the next 72 hours, and make your way to your friendly neighbourhood Tesco to participate in a midnight launch event. I hear they also sell food and drinks at these places. Should be pretty safe, then.
In particular, those of you who live near Tesco's flagship Extra store in Cheshunt (that's Brookfield Gardens, Waltham Cross, Cheshunt, Hertfordshire EN8 0TA) should wake up and smell the Stilton. Hands-on sessions will commence around 10pm, and there's a Black Ops 2 Zombies Survival Mode competition with copies of the game and "highly sought-after" Turtle Beach Sierra headsets up for grabs. All you need to do is endure 10 rounds of undead-masticating frenzy and come away with the highest score.
Tesco has partnered with events supremo Game Beast for the occasion, which explains the specially converted monster truck gaming rigs lurking in the vicinity, each armed with a 43" plasma screen, thudding sound systems and gaming chairs. They've also enlisted a bunch of websites to write about it. We're not among them. No, we aren't. I just decided to write about this because I like Tesco and Black Ops 2 so much. HONEST.
Those who visit any of Tesco's other top one hundred stores won't get any monster truck action, but will be able to win special goodies bags. Don't like queuing? Fear not - Tesco has promised to keep things interesting for all those standing in line, offering spot prizes, T-shirts and a number of other giveaways.
Our Black Ops 2 review is imminent - anything in particular you want to know?