Bethesda tease is Dishonored, not Skyrim DLC

Internet am disappoint

Come over here for a second, Dishonored. Have a seat. How's things? Good, good. Listen, old chap, we've got no end of respect for you. Your parents - Mr Deus Ex, Mrs Half-Life - are great friends of ours. We love your greasy take on steampunk, the charming way you riff on System Shock and Thief. But you can't go around claiming you're Skyrim DLC. It just isn't cricket.


You never claimed anything of the sort? Sure you did. Sort of. Why else would you send us this picture of a hairy man with mud on his face? The only game which features hairy men with mud on their faces is Skyrim. And what about the other guy, the blurred-out one in the foreground? He's got an upturned collar, and only the Thalmor turn up their collars. Trufax.

Enough of your parlour games, Dishonored. You're a handsome beast, and you've got some interesting tricks up your sleeve - the exploding rats are particularly effective. But what on earth were you thinking? This is the kind of stunt that wrecks childhoods and makes people in comments threads very, very upset.

You'd better be a 10/10, Dishonored. We've made a special note in our reviewing notebooks that reads: "if Dishonored isn't a 10/10, we'll take a snap of a wall and pretend it's Half-Life 3". Fight fire with fire.

(Cheers, TSA. Ooh look, the Dishonored thing they were teasing is live - and is, in fairness, bloody spectacular.)