Six TV shows we'd ruin using Kinect TV

Programmes that need to be commissioned for the future to exist

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Even MORE haunted than MOST


Kinect doesn't just come with a basic camera - there are two cameras, and an infra-red sensor, too. In other words, it's a three-dimensional ghost detector.

Simply start up MOST HAUNTED: MY HOUSE, and you'll be presented with an image of your room, and Yvette Fielding will appear, saying one of five spooky phrases. Should Kinect sense a ghost, you'll be the first to know - Yvette Fielding will begin screaming and crying until snot rolls down her face, and Derek Acorah will urge you to protect the lives of your children by downloading the Exorcism Pack DLC.

Aren't the upper classes lovely?


Downton Abbey is patently unsuitable to be turned into a video game. So is The Cube. But Downton Abbey Kinect In The Cube will redefine interactive geometric period drama, with the Countess of Grantham playing the role of that cyborg that does all the challenges in the demonstration.

Simply wave to begin, and she'll effortlessly catch tennis balls fired at her from a machine, while her servants huddle in another corner and talk about the sinking of the Titanic. Can you solve the minor problems of people who are, to be honest, human cattle and completely beneath your station, and still win £250,000?

Easiest anagram ever


Just stand naked 9-12 feet away from your Kinect sensor, and watch yourself transported into a virtual world where Gok Wan invents rhyming couplets about your body shape. "You were quite fat, now you're all that!" he'll say, ignoring the fact that you've only been stood there for ten seconds. "You once were a monster - now I'd give you one, sir!" he adds, quietly shutting down the other functions of your Xbox, including the power button.

"You've gone from a nauseating wreck, to plausibly pursuing sex!" he chirrups, and unplugging the Kinect does nothing - he's already got everything he needs there on the console. "You've gone from resembling a horse, to having nice pores," he laughs, planting a kiss onto your on-screen representation, which withers and crumbles into dust.

For more Kinect jollies, read our features on the best Kinect games, best party and dance games and Kinect core games you should keep an eye on.

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