I'll come clean. I'm not an Elmo fan. Elmo operates at that bone-shearing pitch and mindlessly optimistic attitude that makes you want to grab a palmful of his fur and smash his head against Oscar the Grouch's dustbin lid.
"Life isn't nice, you hooting moron. We're dying the moment we're born." But this game isn't about me. It's not about you, either - the fact you got past that first paragraph without bursting into tears means that you're too old to play Once Upon A Monster alone.
It's quite light on the winks-to-the-grown-ups, but that's fine. It's a colourful world. It's a friendly world. It's a life-affirming, sweet world where monsters dress up for birthday parties, happy-faced bees accompany you around a lovely garden, and there are plenty of familiar faces that star or cameo. It's more an interactive TV show.
A lot of kid's shows ask you to jump around and wave your arms, but Once Upon A Monster checks to make sure you're joining in. With some exceptions, the games are responsive, but also forgiving.
It's a colourful toy that'll distract young children long enough to give you precious hours in the kitchen drinking fortified wine.
Sweetness, it's my weakness